I have been pondering some things lately…stirrings of my heart that need responding to.
I think I’ve really been trying to figure out what my vision for missions in my personal life is these past couple years. I know what I believe and I know what I want to do, but what do I see my role being in bringing the Kingdom to earth?
As I’ve thought about this and started explaining my heart for Central America and this culture, things have started to come together.
Explaining my new adventures and where I’ll be headed as soon as the funding is all set has lead to me being able to verbally process what I really feel in my heart.
And let me preface this with saying that I have talked a lot about, and could continue to keep talking about the joys and beauty and wonderfulness of where I live, but today I want to explain a little bit of the struggles I see here as well.
Here in Central America, most people are religious. A lot had gone to church when they were little. Catholicism is very strong here. From what I’ve seen, the majority believe that there is some sort of God – that there’s someone up in the sky, ruling and watching.
But that’s where any sort of relationship with Him stops.
The legalism in the churches here is insane. Someone catches you slipping up and “sinning” (going against rules they’ve made), you’re done. You’re out of that church and you’ve lost your salvation.
If the church is supposed to represent Christ, and we’re supposed to be His hands and feet in this world, what example is that of His love and gentleness with us? How is that representing His unending grace and mercy for us?
So all that being the case here, especially in these small villages, there is a huge lack of encouragement, support, and unconditional love.
I cannot profess to know everything about God and tell you exactly what His nature is, but I know He is love. I know there is no end to the grace He has for those who want to follow Him and be His people. I know He doesn’t cast us away when we fall short of His perfection.
I know this because I’ve experienced it.
So why is there such a lack of understanding about this aspect of God? A really important aspect!
I have grown up in a church and family that have always loved and supported me unconditionally.
I know my parents would do absolutely anything for me, and that they want to bless me in so many ways even without me asking.
I have been able to understand a loving God because I have had tangible examples of that love in my life.
I have experienced just a small portion of it here on earth, but it helps in the way I view Him and think of Him.
So what if nobody in your life has ever loved you unconditionally?
What if even your family was not a safe place to go to?
What if everybody in your life was constantly judging you, waiting for you to slip up and then gossip about it, looking at your past and not believing in your future, measuring themselves up against you in morality?
How can you believe that there is someone who will never condemn you?
This, I feel, is one of the main struggles of Central America.
Now let me say too that not all families are like this here, and the amount of love I’ve received is incredible.
But even in those places where I’ve been loved, those people are not showing that same love to their own family members.
It makes me feel awkward, and I try to fix it.
However, that has lead to much disappointment as I realize I’m not here to “fix” anything, and honestly I really can’t.
How can you believe in an unconditionally loving God, when no one in your life has ever exemplified that?
For years, the Lord has been speaking to me about how I have the ability to show His love to people. That I carry that part of Him inside my heart.
I’m only just finding out how to really use that and for what specifically.
I believe my calling in missions work to Central America is to show an unconditional love to those who have none.
To encourage, support, and pour life into those who need it desperately.
I want to be a physical representation of Christ to women who are expected to do a million things a day for their families and then are not shown any gratefulness.
I pray my relationships with them will be a place where they can feel rested and encouraged and know I love them as they are.
I want to love and nurture children from the earliest age possible so that deeply ingrained in them would be a knowledge and faith of a God who cares about everything and everyone.
I pray that they would just know there is no other way of living other than living under the love of the Lord.
There is a need for that here, and I’m so deeply blessed to be able to be a part of the Jesus’ restoration of Central America.
My prayer as always is to be wholly and completely wherever I am, and then leave places and not leave any remembrance of Haille’s love behind.
Please, Abba, permeate my work and my life with who You are so that who I am is a representation of Your desire to be in relationship with each beautiful human being you’ve created.
Romans 10:14 (The Voice)
“How can people invoke His name when they do not believe? How can they believe in Him when they have not heard? How can they hear if there is no one proclaiming Him?”
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1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187
2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.
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A Heart Full of Mess and Lore 