I have a problem with patience.
Like the rest of America, I have grown up in a culture that values instant gratification above all else.
I am a person who likes to be busy and always doing something.
I like to feel useful.
When I got into this missions thing, it was always doing short term missions trips.
Where every hour of your day is planned for you and everyone else is in the same boat of not really knowing what’s going on right away.
I really had no idea what I was getting myself into, this whole living in a different country, doing full time ministry life. Which is good in some ways, since I had no expectations.
But I found out real quick that actually living somewhere, not just visiting, is a world of difference.
The first few days my mind was consumed with worrying that I wasn’t doing enough, bothered that I didn’t know what to do, and stressed that I didn’t understand a lot of Spanish.
BUT, how blessed am I that God knows me so so well? He put me in a community where right off the bat, those things were pushed out of my mind by encouragement, affirmation, and prayer.
Sometimes God speaks to me by myself, and sometimes He speaks to me through other people.
So while I was being put at peace in my outside environment, God was also calming the storm that was in my heart. I kept hearing from the Lord, “Be still Haille. Let your soul rest in my presence. You know, you KNOW, and YOU KNOW that I know you and can’t even describe how much I care for you and want you to succeed in the purpose I’ve placed in your heart.”
Anything I think I will do wrong, He covers with His perfect strength. Literally, every weakness I have and will ever have, He PROMISES He will take care of.
My biggest doubts in myself are my abilities to do His work here in Candelaria. However, I am grateful for the Lord giving me an opportunity to do something difficult and get uncomfortable. It is really teaching me about the importance of trusting in God and His confidence in me. He wouldn’t have given me such a responsibility if He didn’t KNOW that I could handle it with His grace.
Galatians 6:9-10 says,
“May we never tire of doing what is good and right before our Lord because in His season we shall bring in a great harvest if we can just persist. So seize any opportunity the Lord gives you to do good things and be a blessing to everyone, especially hose within our faithful family.”
He is providing me with so much love that I can persist through my doubts and fears. I believe that there will be a great harvest at New Song, not because of anything I’ve done, but through the work God is doing through each of us here. Jesus has been speaking to me quite a bit lately about His mark on these people, and how He will prevail through all of the negativeness and discouragement, and lack of hope.
You best believe my eyes are going to be open, looking for opportunities to SEIZE. Not just take, SEIZE. How exciting is it when God lays an opportunity to bless and serve those around us right in front of us? So exciting.
I am getting so stoked at the opportunities God is presenting to me lately. I taught my first piano lesson this past Sunday! Slowly but surely I am building relationships with some of the youth. It’s all starting to make sense and settle in. The Lord is putting such peace in my heart and a fire in my spirit.
Thank you all for your donations and prayers. Your support means the world to me! I am still in need of monthly donors for about $95 a month and any one-time donations that you feel the Lord is putting on your heart. Let me know if that is a way you’d like to help out!
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Please be praying that I would be able to pick up Spanish quickly. I am learning more every day but it’s still a very frustrating thing for me. I want to have real conversations and be able to offer sincere words of encouragement, but it’s a little bit of a struggle right now. Pray that I would figure out more where God wants me to be ministry-wise and how best to go about all that. My praise is that I have already began 2 pretty close relationships with a couple girls and I’m excited to see where they’ll go.