A Renewing of My Heart

facebook_1656225744

So let me tell you about this conference I went to in Matagalpa this past week. It was held by Bethel church of Reddington, CA, specifically their School of the Supernatural. Lisa, Cadence, and I went since it was mostly intended for the leaders of different organizations and churches in Nicaragua

The very first night of the conference, the lady who was in charge of the Bethel team, Julie Peters, preached on asking the Lord for things…you know, like not just assuming that He knows everything (which He does), but having that relationship with him that you are comfortable with asking for his gifts and believing you are worthy to receive them. So she asked us, “What are you craving from God? What is it that you want so much?”
I’ve been thinking and praying lately in some promises that God’s given me. Promises that I’ve been carrying for over a year now. And I knew that’s what I needed to start praying for, what I was CRAVING from God. I’ve had my time of waiting, and it’s been so good in growing patience in my heart and learning from God about waiting. After praying about it a lot, I feel in my heart like it’s time to start asking God to start completing those promises. I will still wait tirelessly and patiently, but it’s time to start asking.

So that started off the conference. Worship was amazing every time, some really gifted Nicaraguans led it. My heart was so full and open to all the teachings and spirit moments that we had. God worked through a lot of MESSY things that were going on my heart. Like, the fact that sometimes, I still feel replaceable, and it really hurts still. It’s a pain that’s very deep in my soul that God is wanting to bring a deeper healing to. I hadn’t realized that until a situation came up that I felt so very replaced. I’m working on finding where my worth really lies. Like really. I can say where I want it to lie but if I don’t believe it, I’m not living in the truth and it just gives me more feelings of frustration.

My earlier feelings and prayers about God’s promises for my life were incredibly confirmed later on in the week when a couple of people really spoke into my life about how they saw my spirit and where God had me in my life. What they both said was that ever since they had met me or seen me, they just saw rainbows. Rainbows and color and life. And what do rainbows signify? PROMISES. Right? They said that they see the holy spirit in me in a very distinct way, that I have the characteristics of the holy spirit. I just keep getting told that my voice is powerful.  And then things with kids. A Nicaraguan pastor came up to me after a session one day and said he had some words for me from God that he had to share. He said I have a prophetic calling on my life that is very evident. I will raise children (not necessarily my own) that will grow up to be great, influential people, like presidents. Later on in the week a member of the Bethel team prayed for me and told me that all he could see were little children just clinging to me, holding on and needing to be with me. None of these people knew me all that well and definitely didn’t know my story, my hopes, dreams, and plans. I had so much encouragement about worship as well, and a lot of people who just really believed in my dreams and purpose for being here and influencing the worship program.

It was all just so much wonderfulness…and you know, I absolutely prayed about all of it and didn’t just take it at anyone’s word. I firmly believe in not just assuming that someone’s word is true, because we’re all humans and make mistakes, but all their words were things that confirmed what I had already heard from God or things I’ve been hearing numerous times.

God put this new joy in my heart from my time at the conference. He showed me so much of his goodness and gloriousness and all about how he is SOVEREIGN. Also, that I put all my trust in him alone and look to him for help and solace.

After my time at the conference, I feel very refreshed and rejuvenated in my relationship with the Lord. Renewed in the purpose he placed in my heart and excited to begin anew in his plans.

I walked away with a freer spirit, a deeper relationship with God, healing from past hurts, and hope for my future.

God is Good!

Subscribe to Haille’s Nicaragua e-mail updates

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes.

Advertisements

June 2013 Update

IMG_2692Welcome to the beautiful month of June in Nicaragua!
We are now full on into rainy season! So let the mud baths and drenching bicycle rides begin.

This picture above perfectly describes this month for me. OK, I know that was a long shot, but just bear with me…I’ll explain.
I am in a place of waiting right now – waiting expectantly.
Here, Esmerelda, Delila, Julissa, and I are waiting for Maykeling to get some tasty Guayaba out of the tree for us.
In my life, I can see the fruit that God has for me, I see Him preparing it and getting ready to release it, but I’m waiting for the perfect time. Actually, God’s waiting for the perfect time to give it to me and I am resting in His promise that He will be faithful.

If you know me at all, you know I am not the best at having patience. I don’t like surprises if someone tells me beforehand, and I really just enjoy things happening in the moment, spontaneously. It’s hard for me to hear things and then be told to wait.
I admit it, I’m a child.

And in my childish ways I fail to see the ways that God is trying to work in these times of waiting. I miss that He’s just trying to sit and talk with me, comfort me, encourage me, wrap me in His arms of love.
So I have given up with trying to have my way, trying to cajole and plead for Him to just give it to me – NOW!
I have spent the last month praying for God to fill me up in this time.
I have been filled with His presence and soaked up His goodness.

Now I am asking God to satisfy this craving of mine for these things to start happening.
I am asking for Him to start fulfilling these promises.
I will wait.
I will wait as long as it takes, but I am praying prayers of readiness. Equip me O God, I am ready to get into the battle.

So that’s what’s been going on in my life personally since I’ve been back.
The other things are mainly getting transitioned back to living here. Us missionaries moved to a little house right outside the village of Candelaria, we now live in Las Palmeras.
It is wonderful, I have my own room, it’s painted bright yellow, and I have WINDOWS. It’s hard not being so close to people at night, I used to really love being able to go and sit at someone’s house until about 10 or 11pm, just having great conversation…but this is how things are now, and I am content. I am convinced God has the best for me. Pray for us as we figure out the dynamics of transportation, additional expenses, relationships, and finishing the last building projects at the house.

IMG_2655RAINY SEASON!

IMG_2687Our Panaderia is in full force! They are making loads of bread everyday and selling every last bit. I can’t wait to see them turn a profit and expand! It is a blessing to see God working in the new businesses we’re starting. There are only more good things to come!

IMG_2756Here we are at our Mother’s Day service at church! This holiday is extremely important and celebrated here. These mothers are amazing and work so hard for their family! The youth planned a whole night to celebrate them. It included worship, a teaching, games, gifts, dancing, and more. This game was for moms who had daughters in the youth group to try and guess which girl was their daughter with a blindfold on, only touching their face. It was hilarious! We know that parenting is hard in the village life, there are situations that are unavoidable, but we are so proud of the moms in our community that choose to be different. The moms who choose to love their children unconditionally and pray for them in all situations. They are important leaders in the village of Candelaria!

IMG_2767On our way to a special service in Santa Matilde. This is a typical truck ride, filled to the brim with people. Carolyn who is pictured with me is one of our summer interns! She is so sweet and hilarious, with a real heart for children and loving people.

IMG_2777IMG_2783

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

IMG_2794This was one of my favorite days this week! Darling Rosa heard that I love piglets, so invited me to her house to hold them and love them and take pictures. So we did that, and then I found out she also had baby puppies and baby ducklings as well! After I got done snuggling the loveys, Rosa informed me that her daughter’s pig was pregnant, and I HAD to go see it because it’s humongous.
It was enormous. Pregnant with at least 10 piglets.
And then we went for a tour of all the houses that she knew that had pigs.
She gets me! She is the only one who understand my love for pigs!
It’s great.

IMG_2758

Subscribe to Haille’s Nicaragua e-mail updates

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes.

 

Waiting For Isaac

384777_4787104240936_1289959779_n

“Now the Lord was gracious to Sarah as he had said, and the Lord did for Sarah what he had promised. Sarah became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham in his old age, at the very time God had promised him.”

Genesis 21:1-2

How sweet are the fulfilled promises of our loving Father. Our Father who is GOOD and loves to give GOOD things to His children.

How bittersweet is the waiting.

The incredible experience of hearing from God and knowing a little more of His plans for you is juxtaposed with the aching emptiness of knowing what you want and needing to have patience for the right timing.

Abraham was a man of faith. But even He had doubts and wanted to take control for a little bit. So he had Ishmael with Hagar, His wife Sarah’s servant. God had promised him a son in his old age, but it was a pretty unbelievable thing, and so he made sure that he had security. God was still faithful in His promise, still gave Abraham his son, but he did end up with a little bit of a mess, having another son.

I was reminded of this story by my dear friend Brandon as I spent a night struggling with impatience of waiting.

GOD. IS. FAITHFUL.

He remembers His children and His promises are true.

I am going to try and be intentional this month about keeping my mind set in waiting for Isaac, instead of settling for Ishmael.

****************

In other news, I am heading home April 21st to spend a month visiting my family, friends, and church. I am so excited to be able to take a period of time to rest and rejuvenate. My mind is in need of peace and a chance to be reminded of the Lord’s promises. I’m impatient right now to start doing exactly what I want with children, but this is something that I need to be waiting for. It will hopefully be a pretty big commitment and I’m realizing that takes a lot of time to plan.

For now, I am really excited with the things the Lord has put in front of me for the present time. I am now the littlest kids Sunday School teacher and I am absolutely ADORING it. I’ve gotten more involved with Sunday School, going to all the meetings and trying to be a part of the very special team of youth that almost completely run Sunday mornings. They are all winners and make me so happy. I am so proud to be in their lives and see the differences and big changes they are making in the lives of kids in their community.

In addition to that, I’ve talked with the director of the Preschool here in Candelaria and have gotten permission to come and help out whenever I really have free time. It sure is nice having the freedom of being a white person in a foreign country 🙂
So, this week is going to be the start of me going 3 days a week to the local Preschool and helping out in the afternoons for a few hours. I’m really excited to get to know more of the young families in my community and start loving on their sweet babies.

580561_10152682816490204_1064885871_n

Part of my dear sweet Santa Matilde family: Griselda and her baby, my god-baby Glaysi. I adore my time with them, loving and being loved.

Stay tuned for a photo update from my month of March! Thank you for your prayers and keeping me and my community in your thoughts!

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes.

Dios es bueno. Siempre.

So.

I have this thing where I have expectations of what the best possible scenario is.

A lot of times I put this before asking God what He thinks is best for me. 

Yeah, just being honest, sometimes I really am positively, absolutely certain that I know what’s best for me!

Which is crazy…but it happens. More often then I’m comfortable with talking about.

So.

Let’s talk about Nicaragua.

I was really hoping to go back end of September as most of you  know. I have been in talks with my church to see what they could do for me as far as fund-raising. It’s taken a little more time then I’d (notice we’re talking about my expectation) hoped because of new developments going on at my church. Well, I had a meeting with my pastor last Sunday to see where they were at. We ended up figuring out a plan for fund-raising involving a proposal letter to my church’s leadership team and a video to show in service.

Very cool.

Let me back up a little to me telling God before the meeting that I understood that I would be able to leave whenever He was ready for me in Nicaragua. Not before, not after. I prayed that I would have the understanding to be OK with leaving whenever everything came together, whenever that happened to be. 

So I asked my pastor when he though I’d be able to go down, just getting a general time-frame so I could let my organization know. 

Aaaaaaaaand he said he didn’t think I’d be able to leave before November 1st.

My first reaction was “Wait, what? That’s not what I have been planning!”. 

I was crushed. I am just dying to go back down, missing my people like crazy, and itching to start ministry!

But then that little voice kicked in in the back of my head reminding me of what I’d promised God, and more importantly, what He’s promised me.

See, I don’t believe that God promises us things, and then doesn’t make good on it. He has told me that I am going to Nicaragua to be His hands and feet. 

I have to have hope. That’s the biggest thing I plan on bring to Nicaragua. They NEED it. Desperately. I can’t preach of a hope in Christ, a sureness in His mercy and love and purpose, when I don’t believe it myself. 

Psalm 16:7-8 says, “I will bless the Eternal, whose wise teaching orchestrates my days and centers my mind at night. He is ever present with me; at all times He goes before me. i will not live in fear or abandon my calling because He stands at my right hand.”

It would be so easy to give up and get frustrated with all this waiting and disappointment and just decide that it’s just not for me. But obviously there’s some plan at work here. God is at my right hand and still staying true to me and I need to honor that by not abandoning the calling He’s given me.

So maybe it will take a little longer than I had thought. I know though, that “He goes before me”. Maybe He needs to prepare some hearts first (mine included). I have to believe that there’s something bigger going on that I can’t see and don’t need to right now. He will provide, and He will send me when the time is right. 

God is good. Always. 

On another note, I put my music on NoiseTrade! Here is the link to it: http://www.noisetrade.com/haillekrieg

Give it a listen! It’s nothing fancy, but I’ve had some friends asking for my newest recordings. Kind of a cool story, I never thought I’d write worship music, and then God gave me this huge passion for it in Nica. So here are a few songs I wrote while I was there, while God was still growing that in my heart. 

Making the most out of…everything?

I figured…since being home I’ve talked a lot about my spiritual life.

And…..how you can support me on my next trip and all that junk 😉

Some people have asked me how I’ve been since I’ve been home. They want to know what life’s like and how different it is.

Well I can tell you right off the bat:

  • It is extremely socially awkward to walk around with a sort of mullet here. I’ve learned to kind of pull the long part back into a pony-tail, braid my bangs, and hope for the best.
  • Apparently, I’m pretty tan. Apparently, Americans never believe your tan’s real.
  • It’s normal to drop a couple hundred bucks at your local Gap. On clothes. On pieces of fabric. On things to add to your busting-at-the-seams closet.
  • PEOPLE ARE NOT AS OPENLY FRIENDLY
  • I have to use 2 blankets because of a little luxury we like to call A/C.
  • Public transportation is NOT the same. Obviously, but really. Why is there so much room in the bus?
  • Sometimes, I sit around and think.
  • Then I beat myself up for not being productive….back into that cycle again.
  • Then I realize, quiet time, time spent doing nothing is good sometimes. Central American time will teach you that valuable lesson.
  • Google Translate is a hit or miss. General rule: Try to translate it by yourself FIRST…and then let Google have a go. Most times, you end up understanding it better with your limited Spanish vocabulary than with some fancy, professional, “correct” online translator.
  • I miss abundant physical touch and affection.
  • American TV is boring. Spanish soap operas are far more dramatic and amusing.
  • WHERE ARE THE LITTLE MANGOES
  • I am rich.
  • God is good.
  • He is everywhere.
  • He is everything I need, at every time of day and life.

You know, it’s been HARD. I miss things like community, the craziness of never knowing what you’re going to do, the freedom, the abandon, the tangible God moments.

When I can home, I was bitter. I was so sad and heart-sick. I want to go out the next day and get back to what I had been doing. I kept thinking, “I have nothing. I have to make the most out of this unfortunate situation. I don’t want to. Where did my wonderful life go?”.

It’s amazing how loving people are though. You treat them like absolute garbage because you’re so confused about life now and they still try to make you happy. They don’t really understand what you’re going through but it doesn’t matter. But because you are important to them,and you matter, so they keep trying.

Asi que, my family is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, you know what, I really prefer un-sliced bread. There’s nothing like a freshly ripped off of chunk of bread.
OK.

Obviously the point is, I just appreciate them. A whole flippin’ lot.

And, I’m STILL learning about seasons. Mostly about how sometimes you need to adapt. Also, how your faith should not be built on experiences.

It was very easy for me to feel close to God in Nicaragua. Basically everything I was doing involved Him in some way or another, and being in a team, we were constantly seeking His help and provision. I had time every morning to get up and do my devotions…in the quiet morning hours…surrounded by the beauty of nature…interrupted by some very precious women named Antonia & Estella wishing me a good morning…listen to worship music in a hammock…
You get the picture.

My 4 months was filled with crazy moments, instances where God was very visibly at work. Sometimes it was within our team, sometimes at our work areas, sometimes in the little villages, and a lot of times in my own heart.

My mind was blown…it was overcome with love…I experienced life like never before.

And now, I’m trying to play the comparing game. That’s why I say I’m trying not to base my faith off my experiences. If I think one of those amazing times was the peak of what God can do, if I’m always looking for that same spiritual high, I am going to be sincerely disappointed.

God’s like, “Um, Haille, I’m kind of way more vast and incredible and complex than your little human brain can comprehend. It’s OK that you don’t get it, but trust me on this one. Let me work in my ways, and you’re going to find peace, rest, love…JOY. I will continue to amaze you if you let me!” 

So being home is a lot about adapting to the different things are going on here. I’m going to have to work harder to make my heart focused on Jesus, it’s going to need to be a more intentional thing.
And God is still going to be slowing shaping me into the woman He’s created me to be, perhaps in a more day-to-day “I will provide” kind of way.

But really. I have everything I could ever want. Absolutely everything. Just so you know this is credible stuff…
Philippians 4:19 (NLT) says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”

                                                                           

If you are the praying kind….I would be super grateful if you could pray for a garage sale I have coming up. Yes, I really am asking for prayer about a garage sale. It’s going to be a fund-raiser for my trip to Nicaragua, and I’m really hoping to raise a bit of money from it. So…please pray it goes well and I meet some people and have great conversations through all of it!

Right now I’m at about $400 towards the $10,000 I need to leave in the fall. Please prayerfully consider donating as a one-time or monthly supporter. I could really use prayers on meeting some people who are in a place financially where they can donate a substantial amount.

Thank you so much to my  prayer warriors! You guys are incredible and I can absolutely feel the prayers coming my way  and I know God is going to use y’all to speak His words to me.

Te Amo Con Todo Mi Corazon,

Helenita

This girl is the best reason for being home!!