I am feeling absolutely WRECKED in who I am as a person, as a Christian, as a friend, as a sister, as a daughter, as a missionary, as a gringa…any and all of the things I’m identified as.
Even though I have the love and freedom of Christ in me, why is it that I feel so insufficient?
Why do I fail so many times and always resort to berating myself for being a hypocrite/bad person/worthless Christian?
I just want to know if I am the only person who hasn’t figured out a life without shame and regret and doubts.
I am the only person whose mind is constantly consumed with their own failures?
Add that to me about to make a seemingly life-changing decision…and I’m a mess. Wrecked.
But I really feel like God’s saying,
Don’t give up on me.
Don’t give up that I promised I will never leave or forsake you.
Don’t give up on me and my plans, don’t believe the lie that you know what’s best for your life.
Don’t give up hope that the things I’ve spoken over your life will come to fruition.
I’m finding that I’m identifying myself by all the things the world calls me and says about those things.
But see, even that makes me feel like a failure as a Christian.
See how this is a whole vicious cycle for me?
“Stay focused on what’s above, not earthly things, because your old life is dead and gone. Your new life is now hidden, enmeshed with the Anointed, who is in God.” – Colossians 3:2-3
So what’s above? Who and what does God say I am? How can I feel worthy to hold any of these titles of Christian or Missionary?
“But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life – even though we were buried under mountains of sin – and saved us by His grace. He raised us up with Him and seated us in the heavenly realms with our beloved Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King. He did this for a reason: so that for all eternity we will stand as a living testimony to the incredible riches of His grace and kindness that He freely gives to us by uniting us with Jesus the Anointed. For it’s by God’s Grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing. For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago.” – Ephesians 2:4-10
THIS is my identity.
How many times does God have to tell me it’s not by my works that I am saved or made worthy?
I am a living testimony to HIS GRACE.
By living, and just following him on his wild adventure, I am fulfilling everything he ever created me to be.
Can I just try to explain how much weight that takes off my chest?
I can’t feel like a failure when I read and contemplate these beautiful words.
It’s not a complicated thing, to feel like I’m fulfilling God’s purpose.
I just need to narrow my vision,
concentrate on the light from heaven,
soak in the peace that’s always being offered,
revel in the boundless love I’m constantly being embraced by.
“It’s God’s gift, pure and simple.”
The Ukelele Worship – Live Sessions is an unedited, raw, fresh new group of worship songs written and performed by Haille Krieg. All the songs have been written and recorded in Nicaragua, as that is where Haille is living as a missionary to a small village called Candelaria. The purpose is to share the creative praise and adoration of a simple loving soul unto a great and marvelous God.
I have a return date!!
December 17th I will be flying back to Detroit, MI to spend Christmas with my family and to see about support.
I will be home for at least a month, depending on how much of my support I will be able to raise.
While I am home, I would LOVE to come to your church, school, group, club, organization, etc. to share about what I am doing here in Nicaragua and how you all can partner with me and be a part of the beautiful work that God’s doing in our little village.
Please let me know as soon as possible so I can make out a schedule of what my time home is going to look like! I would be so grateful to have opportunities to share and get the word out about my organization and mission.
One last thing…if you are so lucky to have a spare car that I would be able to borrow for some time I’m in the States, I would be eternally grateful. The way things are looking right now, I will probably have to mooch a lot of rides. Which, you know, definitely produces a lot of humility, and that’s a good thing too.
Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:
1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187
2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.
3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”. If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.
All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes