I have this thing where I have expectations of what the best possible scenario is.
A lot of times I put this before asking God what He thinks is best for me.
Yeah, just being honest, sometimes I really am positively, absolutely certain that I know what’s best for me!
Which is crazy…but it happens. More often then I’m comfortable with talking about.
Let’s talk about Nicaragua.
I was really hoping to go back end of September as most of you know. I have been in talks with my church to see what they could do for me as far as fund-raising. It’s taken a little more time then I’d (notice we’re talking about my expectation) hoped because of new developments going on at my church. Well, I had a meeting with my pastor last Sunday to see where they were at. We ended up figuring out a plan for fund-raising involving a proposal letter to my church’s leadership team and a video to show in service.
Let me back up a little to me telling God before the meeting that I understood that I would be able to leave whenever He was ready for me in Nicaragua. Not before, not after. I prayed that I would have the understanding to be OK with leaving whenever everything came together, whenever that happened to be.
So I asked my pastor when he though I’d be able to go down, just getting a general time-frame so I could let my organization know.
Aaaaaaaaand he said he didn’t think I’d be able to leave before November 1st.
My first reaction was “Wait, what? That’s not what I have been planning!”.
I was crushed. I am just dying to go back down, missing my people like crazy, and itching to start ministry!
But then that little voice kicked in in the back of my head reminding me of what I’d promised God, and more importantly, what He’s promised me.
See, I don’t believe that God promises us things, and then doesn’t make good on it. He has told me that I am going to Nicaragua to be His hands and feet.
I have to have hope. That’s the biggest thing I plan on bring to Nicaragua. They NEED it. Desperately. I can’t preach of a hope in Christ, a sureness in His mercy and love and purpose, when I don’t believe it myself.
Psalm 16:7-8 says, “I will bless the Eternal, whose wise teaching orchestrates my days and centers my mind at night. He is ever present with me; at all times He goes before me. i will not live in fear or abandon my calling because He stands at my right hand.”
It would be so easy to give up and get frustrated with all this waiting and disappointment and just decide that it’s just not for me. But obviously there’s some plan at work here. God is at my right hand and still staying true to me and I need to honor that by not abandoning the calling He’s given me.
So maybe it will take a little longer than I had thought. I know though, that “He goes before me”. Maybe He needs to prepare some hearts first (mine included). I have to believe that there’s something bigger going on that I can’t see and don’t need to right now. He will provide, and He will send me when the time is right.
God is good. Always.
On another note, I put my music on NoiseTrade! Here is the link to it: http://www.noisetrade.com/haillekrieg
Give it a listen! It’s nothing fancy, but I’ve had some friends asking for my newest recordings. Kind of a cool story, I never thought I’d write worship music, and then God gave me this huge passion for it in Nica. So here are a few songs I wrote while I was there, while God was still growing that in my heart.