“There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain.” – Break Every Chain by Will Reagan & United Pursuit
I learned this song at training camp for my trip to Nicaragua in January. It had an enormous effect on me with all its simple phrases and repeats. It was one of the songs that my heart of worship began to expand. There is so much freedom in this song, so much room for God to speak to many different people at many different places of life.
OK but seriously, it’s unreal how many chains God has broken in my life from that freezing January day until now.
Cheesy, but I don’t even recognize that girl at the beginning of 2012.
Crazy, but that’s how my relationship with God works, I just can’t explain things sometimes.
Every time a chain is broken, it is a long process, an exhausting battle between my human desire for control and my yearning to trust God with everything.
Once broken though, there is such peace. The Holy Spirit lays such an understanding on my heart.
….until the next time
Sometimes, I’m like, “Seriously God, again? I thought things were good, everything was settled!”
And time after time I find myself closer to my savior, more aligned with His will. Like I keep saying, He is just shaping and transforming me in every second of every day.
Can I just tell you how long I’ve been hung up on money?
My whole life.
OK, so that’s only almost 19 years.
But my whole life sure feels like a long time.
It’s beyond frightening to trust God with finances. Everything everyone has ever told me is that I need security. I need security AND a back-up plan in case something goes wrong. Really, I don’t give a flying fig what I’m doing, I just need to be making some sort of money to make sure that I don’t fail in my life.
How backwards does that sound compared to God saying that we need to trust Him with EVERYTHING?
Recently, this has been the biggest chain that I needed to break.
Honest moment here: I am so uncomfortable with having to depend on God putting it on other peoples’ hearts to donate.
But lately, God has been impressing on me that it’s HIS money and He is the one in power over every single dollar and cordoba that I am ever going to come into contact with.
My latest fund-raising event was a yard sale. I have a fellow missionary friend who is also raising money for a trip although his is to Russia. He let me use his yard and I am so excited to let you all know that I made a little over $600! The morning of the sale I woke up with so much discouragement from the devil. I kept thinking about everything that could go wrong and how it might end up being more work than it was worth. Feeling empty, I prayed and prayed over that sale, as ridiculous as it sounds. It turned out so well and I had great conversations with lots of people as an added bonus.
More exciting to me than the money though was the feeling of breaking another chain. These crazy small things have me so attached to this world, but little by little, I am breaking free…I am slipping away and crawling closer to my Father’s kingdom, where there is absolute trust and complete abandonment to human ways.
Money…what is it worth?
Nothing to me now.
I am holding out for things that are going to fulfill me so much more than having a comfortable sum of money sitting in my bank account.
Thank you so super much to those of you who donated items to the sale! You are making my dream of going back to Nicaragua in the fall a reality. You should know that your help is inconceivably appreciated and you are absolutely furthering the kingdom. It means so much that y’all are willing to help me out in whatever ways you can.
Please remember that you are supporting me so much with your prayers. I have nothing to be afraid of with Jesus and his mighty army of prayer warriors behind me.
Te Amo Con Todo Mi Corazon,