Making the most out of…everything?

I figured…since being home I’ve talked a lot about my spiritual life.

And… you can support me on my next trip and all that junk 😉

Some people have asked me how I’ve been since I’ve been home. They want to know what life’s like and how different it is.

Well I can tell you right off the bat:

  • It is extremely socially awkward to walk around with a sort of mullet here. I’ve learned to kind of pull the long part back into a pony-tail, braid my bangs, and hope for the best.
  • Apparently, I’m pretty tan. Apparently, Americans never believe your tan’s real.
  • It’s normal to drop a couple hundred bucks at your local Gap. On clothes. On pieces of fabric. On things to add to your busting-at-the-seams closet.
  • I have to use 2 blankets because of a little luxury we like to call A/C.
  • Public transportation is NOT the same. Obviously, but really. Why is there so much room in the bus?
  • Sometimes, I sit around and think.
  • Then I beat myself up for not being productive….back into that cycle again.
  • Then I realize, quiet time, time spent doing nothing is good sometimes. Central American time will teach you that valuable lesson.
  • Google Translate is a hit or miss. General rule: Try to translate it by yourself FIRST…and then let Google have a go. Most times, you end up understanding it better with your limited Spanish vocabulary than with some fancy, professional, “correct” online translator.
  • I miss abundant physical touch and affection.
  • American TV is boring. Spanish soap operas are far more dramatic and amusing.
  • I am rich.
  • God is good.
  • He is everywhere.
  • He is everything I need, at every time of day and life.

You know, it’s been HARD. I miss things like community, the craziness of never knowing what you’re going to do, the freedom, the abandon, the tangible God moments.

When I can home, I was bitter. I was so sad and heart-sick. I want to go out the next day and get back to what I had been doing. I kept thinking, “I have nothing. I have to make the most out of this unfortunate situation. I don’t want to. Where did my wonderful life go?”.

It’s amazing how loving people are though. You treat them like absolute garbage because you’re so confused about life now and they still try to make you happy. They don’t really understand what you’re going through but it doesn’t matter. But because you are important to them,and you matter, so they keep trying.

Asi que, my family is the greatest thing since sliced bread.
Actually, you know what, I really prefer un-sliced bread. There’s nothing like a freshly ripped off of chunk of bread.

Obviously the point is, I just appreciate them. A whole flippin’ lot.

And, I’m STILL learning about seasons. Mostly about how sometimes you need to adapt. Also, how your faith should not be built on experiences.

It was very easy for me to feel close to God in Nicaragua. Basically everything I was doing involved Him in some way or another, and being in a team, we were constantly seeking His help and provision. I had time every morning to get up and do my devotions…in the quiet morning hours…surrounded by the beauty of nature…interrupted by some very precious women named Antonia & Estella wishing me a good morning…listen to worship music in a hammock…
You get the picture.

My 4 months was filled with crazy moments, instances where God was very visibly at work. Sometimes it was within our team, sometimes at our work areas, sometimes in the little villages, and a lot of times in my own heart.

My mind was blown…it was overcome with love…I experienced life like never before.

And now, I’m trying to play the comparing game. That’s why I say I’m trying not to base my faith off my experiences. If I think one of those amazing times was the peak of what God can do, if I’m always looking for that same spiritual high, I am going to be sincerely disappointed.

God’s like, “Um, Haille, I’m kind of way more vast and incredible and complex than your little human brain can comprehend. It’s OK that you don’t get it, but trust me on this one. Let me work in my ways, and you’re going to find peace, rest, love…JOY. I will continue to amaze you if you let me!” 

So being home is a lot about adapting to the different things are going on here. I’m going to have to work harder to make my heart focused on Jesus, it’s going to need to be a more intentional thing.
And God is still going to be slowing shaping me into the woman He’s created me to be, perhaps in a more day-to-day “I will provide” kind of way.

But really. I have everything I could ever want. Absolutely everything. Just so you know this is credible stuff…
Philippians 4:19 (NLT) says, “And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.”


If you are the praying kind….I would be super grateful if you could pray for a garage sale I have coming up. Yes, I really am asking for prayer about a garage sale. It’s going to be a fund-raiser for my trip to Nicaragua, and I’m really hoping to raise a bit of money from it. So…please pray it goes well and I meet some people and have great conversations through all of it!

Right now I’m at about $400 towards the $10,000 I need to leave in the fall. Please prayerfully consider donating as a one-time or monthly supporter. I could really use prayers on meeting some people who are in a place financially where they can donate a substantial amount.

Thank you so much to my  prayer warriors! You guys are incredible and I can absolutely feel the prayers coming my way  and I know God is going to use y’all to speak His words to me.

Te Amo Con Todo Mi Corazon,


This girl is the best reason for being home!!


4 responses

  1. Seriously hailles, I love you so much. I love reading your awesome blogs and I definitely related to this one 🙂 (but really, where are all the little mangos!?) It is so awesome to see how much God is working in you. I miss you SO MUCH!

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