Thoughts on Leadership

These last couple years have held some of the biggest trust lessons I’ve ever grown from.

God is constantly teaching me to not need a reason or explanation…but just to trust Him implicitly. If He says go, I go. If He says stay, I stay. It’s all about the obedience aspect.

One way that He is helping me understand my relationship with Him is by putting leaders in my life and asking me to serve them with my whole heart and with a joyful spirit.

To be completely honest, I have always struggled with authority figures. I have always had this pride that makes me think that I am right, and that I know best.

After making several mistakes where I have really disregarded authority and blamed them for so many of my own problems, God broke down that barrier in a very painful way.

 

I have been on both sides of leadership. Surprisingly, I like being on the servant side a lot more.

See, being a leader requires that you have a very heavy responsibility.

People – real live humans – depend on you. You answer to their problems, their issues, their ugliness, their beauty, their hearts. And it’s HARD. You will always have someone who doubts you, disapproves of your actions/life, or openly mocks you.

 

If there is one thing I could share that you would remember, it is this:
Encourage your leaders, and give them a break!

 

Hebrews 13:17 (ESV) says,

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

 

There is no advantage to us tearing down our leaders and talking badly about them behind their backs. Does that encourage them to lead us better and with more joy and patience?

Truly good leaders answer to God, and God alone. They are not here to be all that you want them to be. If God has trusted them with leadership, He trusts their judgment and discernment.

 

One example I have is of two women that I love and adore with all my heart. Their names are Lisa and Cadence, and they work in Nicaragua as missionaries, heading up a student sponsorship program.

Since I lived with them for more than a year, I saw all the hard work they put into their job and how little they are recognized for it. Lisa and Cadence work long, sometimes 14-hour days, tirelessly speaking with families, writing sponsor updates, handing out school supplies, having hard conversations with kids, tutoring kids, and pouring their hearts out to the community. They have put their lives into this program and setting up the poverty-stricken communities of Candelaria, Santa Matilde, Nuevo Amanecer, and La Isla for success by putting their children in school and promoting education.

The communities have a great love for these two women, and show their gratitude in so many beautiful ways. However, I have seen the ugly side of people as well when they feel as though they know best how sponsorship money should be used.
If they put themselves in Lisa’s and Cadence’s shoes, they would not want the load of work, the ungratefulness, the responsibility, and the long hours.
Even after being lied to, shouted at, dead-tired, and also, I will add, raising financial support to do what they do, these women continue to build and grow this program because they have had a calling to this ministry.
And I know they forget all of the negativity when they get to make those visits to tell a child and their family that they’ve received a sponsor. I’ve been on those visits, and I feel like crying every time I see it happen. The JOY that flows when you tell someone that a person from thousands of miles away saw their picture on the internet and saw something special that they just HAD to support…it is magnificently beautiful.

 

It is incredible how much someone believing in you can do to your self-esteem. When someone believes in you, your soul gets set on fire and you believe that anything is possible. That you can change the world. That God isn’t crazy in His love for you and hope for the best for your life.

 

We as humans are better as a team than a single individual.

 

The Lord already holds leaders to a high standard and they answer to Him.

Our job as servants and followers, members of an organization or congregation is to SUPPORT and ENCOURAGE.

 

Instead of criticizing your leader, encourage them in love. You probably have no idea the amount of work and responsibility they have. You probably don’t know how many people want to talk to them and give their opinion.

 

Spread peace.

Be kind.

Love with your whole heart.

 

Follow Lisa and Cadence’s blogs:

Lisa – http://lisasmith.myadventures.org/

Cadence – http://cadencesnyder.wordpress.com/

 

Sponsor a student through Educate Nica for $25 a month:

http://educatenica.org/

pensamientos.

I always want to blog only when I have something to talk about.
But I’m finding that I really need to just start writing, writing about something, nothing, anything…whatever will start the creativity.

So.
I guess I’ll talk a little bit about the things I’ve been thinking about lately.

  • Love. The lack thereof.
    I find it hard to describe my depression when I see relationships that are killing the souls of two people. I saw it so much in Nicaragua. I feel like there is just no heart connection. People get together because of attraction, or because they’re having a baby together, or because they need someone to provide for them.
    Fidelity was not even a concept to be grasped.
    My heart ached especially for the women, who are used and abused, expected everything of and given nothing.
    Countless times, after saying I’d rather just stay single than be with a man who cheats on me, I was told it was non-existent. That I was crazy thinking that and that I would never find anyone like that.
    How tragic to grow up knowing that’s what you have to look forward to.

    But is it really any better here in the States?
    There is just so much STUFF here that takes the place of time you could be spending with your love.
    And here, I’ve seen so much dissatisfaction. So much giving up after it gets hard. Because “you come first, you are your first priority.”

    So I guess I’m seeing the two extremes, women who are so selfless they let everyone take advantage of it and get trampled to pieces, and women who are so selfish, it’s not worth it to them to fight for hard things.

    Honestly, it makes me cringe to think of committing my life to one single thing. And if it’s just going to be one of these unhappy places, why?

  • Commitment.
    Jesus is teaching me a lot about committing to one single thing and not forgetting about it or leaving it behind as I experience new things every day.
    Specifically in my relationship with Him.

    I’m still trying to figure out how to love Him and praise Him in new ways with every sunrise.
    I know that this is such a mindset of youth, but I wonder if I will ever get bored of it and how I will ever keep things full of passion and life.
    I depend on myself so much in all relationships to be the do-er, to make sure that things aren’t getting dull. It’s stressful.

    He keeps reminding me to shut off my mind and just look with baby eyes at His creation and the little blessings He brings to my hands. He wants to fan the flame of my faith without doing the easy thing and just giving me the black and white truth.
    I think it delights Him when I figure it out on my own and take time to discover His majesty and intricate nature.

  • Faith. Hope.
    “Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen.” - Hebrews 11:1

    It is so easy for me to view hardships and difficult times, depression and anxiety, fears…to see them as punishment for my unwilling heart. I believe I am suffering because I’m not good enough and I’m not doing it right.

    “I will erase their sins and wicked acts out of My memory as though they had never existed.
    When there is forgiveness such as this, there is no longer any need to make an offering for sin.” - Hebrews 10:16-17

    Because of the new covenant, I am set free to accept forgiveness for what I’ve done and hope for a better future. I do not need to feel punished, because that’s not the reality of what’s happening.
    I don’t want to be stuck in one moment, feeling sorry for myself and inflicting damage to my soul out of shame. I want to have faith and hope that the reason I’m passing through hard times is because the Lord is shaping me, growing me, teaching me how to be more like Him.
    He is teaching me to be selfless, to obey Him and authority, and to believe in hope, believe that all things happen for a reason, and believe that things can change.

  • Being me.
    Just because everyone around me thinks a certain way, feels a certain way, and acts a certain way, doesn’t mean it’s right. It doesn’t mean I can’t have hope or love unconditionally because no one else does.
    (I have met and have in my life truly lovely people who are different, who give me hope for a beautiful world. I am merely talking about my feelings on the general population)
    Even if I knew no one who believed the same things as I do, that wouldn’t stop me from feeling how I feel.
    I may not know as much about the Bible and faith and God as someone who’s been to seminary. But I know that Jesus has been the one steady, constant truth in my life.
    I know every time I’ve trusted Him, He’s come through.
    I know when I’ve had no one who loves me, He has.
    I know when I gave everything up to follow His calling, He responded with peace in my soul.
    I know every time I’ve poured out what I’ve felt was the last drop of love in my heart, He refilled me with abundance.

    The older you get, the more people doubt you. It’s hard to not look at people and wonder why they’re not doing what you’re doing.
    I’m trying really hard not to have that kind of view and egotism.
    I love how we’re all different, I embrace the different feels and sentiments and characters and talents.
    So I’m praying that God would show me how we all work together, instead of worrying that people are doing things “right”.

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All that is truly GOOD

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Apparently, people enjoy reading my blogs and email updates because I share my struggles and try to be vulnerable.
If you would have told me 2 years ago that that’s the kind of material I’d be writing, I would have laughed in your face.
I don’t know when in my life I decided to get comfortable with baring my soul to the world, but I guess it happened, and as a result I am seriously filled with freedom.

So without further ado, please let me impart my latest learning experience and where my heart’s at.

If you’ve been following me on Twitter or Facebook, you know that I am in the States now, and this transition has been ROUGH.
I went back to Nicaragua (through the help of your donations and encouragement) for about a month to say my goodbyes and tie up the loose ends I had left behind. Deciding to go back to the States was all so sudden and unexpected, I was kind of caught off guard and I left without really feeling settled in my spirit. So the trip back was really needed.
Going back, I experienced a range of emotions and felt things that I can’t even begin to describe. My heart broke more and more every day that I spent sitting at peoples’ houses, helping with homework, cooking food, playing with children, having deep conversations, loving on my families…
I was falling apart and had absolutely no idea how to control it or keep it together.

I went into this trip with a firm resolve not to count down the days or think about leaving. I was going to live in the moment, concentrate on the here and now, and not worry about how I was going to say goodbye. It worked, almost too well.
When I got to the last couple days, I started panicking. See, I fit in so well in Nicaragua. I honestly could see myself just living there, and having a completely happy life. I was on a bus headed to Managua to get to the airport and I was having serious thoughts about not getting on my plane.
The only thing that kept me going was that I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that the Lord has called me to go to Honduras. Growing up and being an adult means that I can’t just do whatever FEELS good. It might feel good to stay in Nicaragua, but what are the long-term consequences of that? I have already spoken about moving to Honduras, about feeling God’s calling there…so if I had decided to stay, what kind of example is that for my friends in Nicaragua?
It’s a bad one. It’s an example of someone choosing to ignore God and be selfish. That’s what.
I am confident enough in my vulnerability to admit that to you all.

See, I think my main wound of leaving is that in Nicaragua I experienced a kind of love and acceptance I had never felt before, EVER in my life.
Not in the States, not anywhere else.
I built relationships with people who really really cared about me and kept up with my life, wanting to know how I was. And more than that, people wanted to tell me about THEIR lives and wanted to be encouraged and loved on.

So I guess I was angry that God was taking me out of the one place I’ve felt truly accepted and loved and just a good fit. I don’t know if I believe I can find those relationships again and that kind of fulfillment.
But I’m realizing that that’s the problem.
I’m finding my fulfillment in how I FEEL. And how I feel is perhaps different from the truth.
If I truly believe that God is sending me to Honduras (which I do), I know He will provide, and I know things will work out.

Psalm 16, verse 2 says in The Voice version,
“I told You, Eternal One, ‘You are my Lord, for the only good I know in this world is found in You alone.’”

All those truly beautiful, purely good moments and experiences I felt in Nicaragua were from Christ alone. The moments I felt so incredibly blessed and loved and in the Spirit, those were from Jesus.
Since He is calling me to Honduras, there will be more of that good. The only difference is that it will be in a different location.
That good wasn’t happening only because it was in Nicaragua.
God doesn’t change. Locations will, people will, relationships will, but God doesn’t.
I just need to work on trusting Him that He will do all He has promised.

I’m excited to take you all on this journey with me…and I really need the encouragement and support!
I am in the States now, so please let me know if you would like to get together and talk about my past, current, and future missions!
I would love to come share with your church/youth group/bible study/club/school/group/event/etc!

A few pictures from this trip:

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Subscribe to Haille’s NEW Honduras e-mail updates

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes

Where is the Love?

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I have been pondering some things lately…stirrings of my heart that need responding to.

I think I’ve really been trying to figure out what my vision for missions in my personal life is these past couple years. I know what I believe and I know what I want to do, but what do I see my role being in bringing the Kingdom to earth?

As I’ve thought about this and started explaining my heart for Central America and this culture, things have started to come together.
Explaining my new adventures and where I’ll be headed as soon as the funding is all set has lead to me being able to verbally process what I really feel in my heart.
And let me preface this with saying that I have talked a lot about, and could continue to keep talking about the joys and beauty and wonderfulness of where I live, but today I want to explain a little bit of the struggles I see here as well.

Here in Central America, most people are religious. A lot had gone to church when they were little. Catholicism is very strong here. From what I’ve seen, the majority believe that there is some sort of God – that there’s someone up in the sky, ruling and watching.
But that’s where any sort of relationship with Him stops.

The legalism in the churches here is insane. Someone catches you slipping up and “sinning” (going against rules they’ve made), you’re done. You’re out of that church and you’ve lost your salvation.

If the church is supposed to represent Christ, and we’re supposed to be His hands and feet in this world, what example is that of His love and gentleness with us? How is that representing His unending grace and mercy for us?

So all that being the case here, especially in these small villages, there is a huge lack of encouragement, support, and unconditional love.
I cannot profess to know everything about God and tell you exactly what His nature is, but I know He is love. I know there is no end to the grace He has for those who want to follow Him and be His people. I know He doesn’t cast us away when we fall short of His perfection.
I know this because I’ve experienced it.

So why is there such a lack of understanding about this aspect of God? A really important aspect!

I have grown up in a church and family that have always loved and supported me unconditionally.
I know my parents would do absolutely anything for me, and that they want to bless me in so many ways even without me asking.
I have been able to understand a loving God because I have had tangible examples of that love in my life.
I have experienced just a small portion of it here on earth, but it helps in the way I view Him and think of Him.

So what if nobody in your life has ever loved you unconditionally?
What if even your family was not a safe place to go to?
What if everybody in your life was constantly judging you, waiting for you to slip up and then gossip about it, looking at your past and not believing in your future, measuring themselves up against you in morality?

How can you believe that there is someone who will never condemn you?

This, I feel, is one of the main struggles of Central America.

Now let me say too that not all families are like this here, and the amount of love I’ve received is incredible.
But even in those places where I’ve been loved, those people are not showing that same love to their own family members.
It makes me feel awkward, and I try to fix it.
However, that has lead to much disappointment as I realize I’m not here to “fix” anything, and honestly I really can’t.

How can you believe in an unconditionally loving God, when no one in your life has ever exemplified that?

For years, the Lord has been speaking to me about how I have the ability to show His love to people. That I carry that part of Him inside my heart.
I’m only just finding out how to really use that and for what specifically.

I believe my calling in missions work to Central America is to show an unconditional love to those who have none.
To encourage, support, and pour life into those who need it desperately.

I want to be a physical representation of Christ to women who are expected to do a million things a day for their families and then are not shown any gratefulness.
I pray my relationships with them will be a place where they can feel rested and encouraged and know I love them as they are.

I want to love and nurture children from the earliest age possible so that deeply ingrained in them would be a knowledge and faith of a God who cares about everything and everyone.
I pray that they would just know there is no other way of living other than living under the love of the Lord.

There is a need for that here, and I’m so deeply blessed to be able to be a part of the Jesus’ restoration of Central America.

My prayer as always is to be wholly and completely wherever I am, and then leave places and not leave any remembrance of Haille’s love behind.

Please, Abba, permeate my work and my life with who You are so that who I am is a representation of Your desire to be in relationship with each beautiful human being you’ve created.

Romans 10:14 (The Voice)
“How can people invoke His name when they do not believe? How can they believe in Him when they have not heard? How can they hear if there is no one proclaiming Him?”

Subscribe to Haille’s NEW Honduras e-mail updates

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes

Finding Hope Honduras!!

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If you haven’t been noticing my little hints lately, I’m so excited to announce that…

I’m moving to Honduras!!

As most of you know, I have been looking to move from Nicaragua to a new mission/organization to follow the dreams the Lord has put on my heart about caring for His little babes.

I appreciate the great information and contacts I’ve received from all of you, helping me along and telling me about different places you know about.

While I was praying about and checking into every one of these resources, a really fantastic girl named Katlyn contacted me after reading my blog with some really exciting information about her organization she started in the town of El Porvenir, La Ceiba, Honduras! I met Katlyn when she was traveling around Nicaragua and came to New Song to check out places where she wanted to be long-term.

She sent me a message talking about the things she’s doing in the community and about the Women and Children Center she’s working on starting…and it was so clear that this is where I was supposed to be.
We have really similar passions and hearts for Women, Children, and Community. I love that I’ve found someone who really shares my love for being part of the community wherever you live – taking on their triumphs, struggles, victories, and heartache as your own.

Here’s some info from her website, Finding Hope, which I would really encourage you to check out!

“Finding hope is about giving a deserving community a chance to thrive, connecting with local families and loving children. It is about a passion to serve and give back.”

Katlyn started a Womens Beading program to help some of the local women earn some income for their families:

“Unemployment, unfortunately, affects many families in El Porvenir. Finding Hope is working to address this issue. Currently located in two neighborhoods, we run a beading program aimed at empowering and encouraging women to provide incomes for their families.

Most of the women in this program are unemployed, many raising several kids on their own. Through our bead work program, these women are able to use resources readily available and turn them into beautiful pieces of work. By using recycled old magazines, they are able to make beautiful beads and bracelets. This becomes much more than a simple piece of paper. They are now able to buy food, medicine, school supplies and more necessities for their family.

One hundred percent of the profits of each product sold goes directly to the woman who made the bracelet. We invite you to please join us in our mission by purchasing a bracelet and help us in eradicating poverty.”

The city has donated land to Katlyn and she has been able to build the foundation of the Center so far from donations that have been generously given to her organization.
I’m excited to be a part of helping build this place from (literally) the ground up!

Currently, my plans are:

  • Make a month-long trip to Nicaragua to say my goodbyes and tie up loose ends from the middle of February to the middle of March.
  • Come back to the States and fund-raise the monthly support to live and work in Honduras.
  • Hopefully move down there before the summer starts (May/June-ish).

What YOU can do to help!

  • Money’s going to be really tight to make the trip to Nicaragua, but it really needs to be made, especially because I left most of my belongings there and I need to transport them back.
    If you would be able to financially contribute to this trip, I would really appreciate it!
    (Donation information is always at the bottom of my blogs or on the side of my blog as well)
  • Pray for this transition and all the changes that I will be making!
  • Have me come speak (or sing!) at your event, small group, church, youth group, club, etc. about my mission and where I’m going next. Consider sponsoring me as a group and getting signed up for my blog/e-mail updates!
  • Prayerfully consider becoming a monthly supporter of my work down in Honduras.
    I am planning on being there indefinitely, until the Lord has me leave.
    Your financial support is crucial to me being able to afford the (LOW) cost of living in Honduras to be able to work on ministry with these beautiful women and children.

Thank you forever and always for your super encouraging emotional/spiritual/financial support!
I am indebted to each and every one of you who has sent me an e-mail of sweet words, come out to any of my events, read and shared this blog, donated whatever you could…
You all are seriously fantastic.

PLEASE do not hesitate to contact me with any questions you might have about absolutely anything! I will do my best to answer!

“Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her!”
Luke 1:45 NIV

Subscribe to Haille’s NEW Honduras e-mail updates

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes

 

Fund Raising Opportunity for the Ladies! Jewelry!!

Hey Ladies!!!
TODAY!! THEY’RE CLOSING OUT THE SHOW TOMORROW!!

I have a great fund-raising opportunity where you can help me make my trip back to Nicaragua for a month to say my goodbyes and then help me start raising the money for my next plans….moving to Honduras!

Last night my friend Caitlin hosted a Lia Sophia party at her house with a incredibly kind woman named Susan who decided to donate half her profits of the sales to my cause.

You can go to this site: www.liasophia.com/lovemyjob
Click on browse our jewelry.
Then put Caitlin Padgett in as the hostess!
Lia Sophia has beautiful, classy, long-lasting jewelry that they refund you for if something happens to it.
They also have some really great clearance sales going on!!!

I would so appreciate if you placed an order and helped out in this little way if you can!

It’s an awesome way of supporting me and this wonderful lady who decided to help me out after just one conversation about my mission, and also getting something sweet for yourself!!!

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2014 – Finding Where I’m Supposed To Be

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At this point in my life, at just 20 years, I am tired of building deep relationships and then getting called to move somewhere else. Or having those people move on.

Now, I realize that’s a really beautiful part of life, that we’re all constantly moving and meeting new people, making connections, letting them change you, passing on their memories to others, building and shaping each other, loving many parts of the world.

But I’m not going to say it’s easy.

In this world of constant change and movement, I want something sure and constant in my life.

Jesus fills that void so perfectly, but sometimes (OK, all the time), I need someone physical to talk to about my thoughts about God, the things He’s teaching me, the ways He’s moving…I need to share life with someone.

There hasn’t really been a person for me like that this past year, and so it’s been a little lonely. But the way that God has built me stronger through that, and the way He’s drawn me deeper into our relationship, our romance…it’s made every moment worth it.

It’s been the hardest, but best year of my life so far.
I can only hope and pray that this next year goes beyond everything I’ve experienced and takes me farther into understanding and wisdom and love with my Savior.

Which brings me to my plans…

I realize I have been saying pretty much all this year that I’m planning on being in Nicaragua with New Song indefinitely.

Well, things have changed a little bit.

Over these last few months, I began to feel a restlessness in my heart.

I was in such denial about it because I truly love the Nicaraguan people with all of my heart and could never imagine leaving them.

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They have affected me in more ways than explain. They have shown me a genuine unconditional love that I’ve never felt before. I finally fit in someplace and felt settled.

After feeling the first touches of this restlessness, I had thoughts of,
“What if I acted on this? How crazy would it be if I just left without having a plan? How much faith and trust would that be? But I couldn’t do it…I’m not able to leave without knowing what I’m doing next. That would be way too stressful…”

God is funny like that.

Every day I felt more and more pressure to figure out what I was going to do with these thoughts.
Eventually, it all came to a head, and in one tearful, anxious, stressful night of fighting against my own will and fearful nature, I made the decision.

And the peace I experienced afterwards confirmed everything I had decided.

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I committed to spending a year at New Song, helping out in whatever ways I could, becoming part of the community, loving on the people, and being part of the team of people who make things happen.

Although I thought I would be there indefinitely, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is calling me to move on and trust Him to provide for me in a time of uncertainty.

I honestly don’t know where that is right now. I have no idea of what country I want to be in, other than I don’t want it to be the States.

I do know, however, what kind of ministry I want to be doing.

Working at New Song was such a good experience of being able to be in training – watching other experienced missionaries in action, learning from them, seeing how an organization works, being part of a team.

I worked mostly in worship, which I love…it’s my heart. It’s what I was created to do. But I’m finding that leading is just not my gifting, and I’m way better at supporting someone who has really great ideas and motivation. I will always love music, and it will always be a huge part of my life and ministry, but I’m not a leader.

After a lot of prayer, contemplation, and listening to the Lord, I have found the ministry that really brings me the most life, that makes me feel like I am living out what I was created for, is caring for babies/small children.

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I have a nurturing heart.

I love to love.

My heart aches for the children who will grow up with nobody stable in their lives whose sole commitment is to raising them in a Holy Spirit filled, nurturing, loving environment.

I want to be that.

I want to raise children in a spirit of continual thankfulness and awareness of the majesty and greatness of God.

I want to impress on them that staying true to who you were created to be is so important, and that the creativity of God has made them such special and precious individuals they should be proud of.

I want to introduce the lifestyle of finding Jesus’ blessings, his little gems and treasures, in every moment so that we are constantly in awe of how GOOD God is and how much He cares for us. In that, for me personally, when I begin to understand how much He loves me and every detail is important to Him, I want to live a life worth His sacrifice.

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So…I kind of have that figured out a little bit…

But where?

I am still trying to figure that out.

If you have any contacts that you know are searching for someone like me, would you let me know?

I am willing to travel anywhere.

I’m ready for a new adventure!

Until I find where God is calling me to next, it looks like I’ll be hanging out Michigan for awhile, working and just listening to where I’m supposed to be.
Grow where you’re planted, right?
If this is where God wants me for a little break, this is where I’ll be.

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I do, however, have plans to go back to Nicaragua for about a month, just to say my final goodbyes and tie up all my loose ends.
I definitely am going to need some support financially to make this last trip happen, which I believe is really important. After all the time I’ve spent there, I need to tell these beautiful people how much they really mattered in my life, and leave blessings with them.

If you are interested in supporting, here are some specifics that you would be a DOLL to help me out with:

  • Buy my plane ticket ($400 round trip)
  • Ship the rest of my belongings that I left in Nicaragua back home ($150)
  • Food/Lodging/Additional Expenses (about $300)

I cannot thank you all enough for the support I’ve received this past year.
Nicaragua wouldn’t have happened if it hadn’t been for your prayers, finances, encouragement, and belief in my hopes and dreams.

I hope we can continue to be partners in this ministry God has called me to. It is far from over and I can’t wait to share at the end of 2014 what adventures I’ve been on and what huge new things I’ve experienced.

And now, on to the important things:

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No life should be wasted

A silent scream builds at the back of my throat.

I can’t do anything.

One single person who never even went to college, who has little experience, who has no medical or scientific knowledge to combat this…

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

…With this horrifying and awful disease that has affected every single life of every Nicaraguan I have ever met in Candelaria.
If they don’t have it, someone in their family has it or has already been killed by the sickness.

Another man I knew and saw every day has died.

His case was probably mostly due to alcoholism that had consumed his every day.

But the state of disrepair his kidneys were in due to Chronic Kidney Disease only welcomed the poison, destined to fail and destroy the health of an average Nicaraguan man.

I feel so helpless against the hand of death this disease has created, sweeping over these beautiful people who work tirelessly for their families, marking them with it’s incurable and horrible illness.

I am asking for you to read this article and learn about the unknowns of this disease: http://www.publicintegrity.org/2012/09/17/10855/kidney-disease-kills-thousands-across-continents-scientists-scramble-answers

Do you see what I mean about feeling like there’s nothing I can do as one single person?

But do you know what pains me even more than this disease killing the people I know?
It’s all the people I don’t know.
It’s all the men who fill up those school buses headed for the fields that cram into the windows to catcall at the gringas walking by.
It’s the mamas who started working at 12 years old, had a baby at 15, and finds out at 30 that her creatinine levels are through the roof.
It’s the boys who start working at 15 and are knocked flat on their back, life over at 20.

It concerns me that so many of these people are dying without knowledge of a hope that will make these last days, the hard days, the stressful days a little lighter.

This one girl can’t find the cure for a disease spreading across nations, but she can make a difference in the life of just one person….with love.

These people need to know they have a Savior that will take their pitiful, illness-ridden bodies and use them for His glory.
If they believe in His son and what He did for their lives, if they want that salvation, their bodies will be made new, clean, and holy.

Nicaragua needs to believe in a hope for a new day, a beautiful future, and a holy nation, made pure by the precious blood of Jesus.

He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

PLEASE PRAY
that this dust would be breathed to life. 
that these dry bones would rattle no more but would stand up strong.
that these broken souls will be made whole.

And please pray for the family of Pedro, who passed away on December 27th, 2013.
His daughter Jasmina and sweet granddaughter Katalin are left behind and are hurting for his loss.

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Pure and Simple

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I am feeling absolutely WRECKED in who I am as a person, as a Christian, as a friend, as a sister, as a daughter, as a missionary, as a gringa…any and all of the things I’m identified as.

Even though I have the love and freedom of Christ in me, why is it that I feel so insufficient?

Why do I fail so many times and always resort to berating myself for being a hypocrite/bad person/worthless Christian?

I just want to know if I am the only person who hasn’t figured out a life without shame and regret and doubts.

I am the only person whose mind is constantly consumed with their own failures?

Add that to me about to make a seemingly life-changing decision…and I’m a mess. Wrecked.

 ***

But I really feel like God’s saying,

Don’t give up on me.

Don’t give up that I promised I will never leave or forsake you.

Don’t give up on me and my plans, don’t believe the lie that you know what’s best for your life.

Don’t give up hope that the things I’ve spoken over your life will come to fruition.

 ***

I’m finding that I’m identifying myself by all the things the world calls me and says about those things.

But see, even that makes me feel like a failure as a Christian.

See how this is a whole vicious cycle for me?

 ***

“Stay focused on what’s above, not earthly things, because your old life is dead and gone. Your new life is now hidden, enmeshed with the Anointed, who is in God.” – Colossians 3:2-3

So what’s above? Who and what does God say I am? How can I feel worthy to hold any of these titles of Christian or Missionary?

“But God, with the unfathomable richness of His love and mercy focused on us, united us with the Anointed One and infused our lifeless souls with life – even though we were buried under mountains of sin – and saved us by His grace. He raised us up with Him and seated us in the heavenly realms with our beloved Jesus the Anointed, the Liberating King. He did this for a reason: so that for all eternity we will stand as a living testimony to the incredible riches of His grace and kindness that He freely gives to us by uniting us with Jesus the Anointed. For it’s by God’s Grace that you have been saved. You receive it through faith. It was not our plan or our effort. It is God’s gift, pure and simple. You didn’t earn it, not one of us did, so don’t go around bragging that you must have done something amazing. For we are the product of His hand, heaven’s poetry etched on lives, created in the Anointed, Jesus, to accomplish the good works God arranged long ago.” – Ephesians 2:4-10

 ***

THIS is my identity.

How many times does God have to tell me it’s not by my works that I am saved or made worthy?

I am a living testimony to HIS GRACE.

By living, and just following him on his wild adventure, I am fulfilling everything he ever created me to be.

Can I just try to explain how much weight that takes off my chest?

***

I can’t feel like a failure when I read and contemplate these beautiful words.

It’s not a complicated thing, to feel like I’m fulfilling God’s purpose.

I just need to narrow my vision,

concentrate on the light from heaven,

soak in the peace that’s always being offered,

revel in the boundless love I’m constantly being embraced by.

 ***

“It’s God’s gift, pure and simple.”

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The Ukelele Worship – Live Sessions is an unedited, raw, fresh new group of worship songs written and performed by Haille Krieg. All the songs have been written and recorded in Nicaragua, as that is where Haille is living as a missionary to a small village called Candelaria. The purpose is to share the creative praise and adoration of a simple loving soul unto a great and marvelous God.

I have a return date!!
December 17th I will be flying back to Detroit, MI to spend Christmas with my family and to see about support.

I will be home for at least a month, depending on how much of my support I will be able to raise.

While I am home, I would LOVE to come to your church, school, group, club, organization, etc. to share about what I am doing here in Nicaragua and how you all can partner with me and be a part of the beautiful work that God’s doing in our little village.

Please let me know as soon as possible so I can make out a schedule of what my time home is going to look like! I would be so grateful to have opportunities to share and get the word out about my organization and mission.

One last thing…if you are so lucky to have a spare car that I would be able to borrow for some time I’m in the States, I would be eternally grateful. The way things are looking right now, I will probably have to mooch a lot of rides. Which, you know, definitely produces a lot of humility, and that’s a good thing too. 

Subscribe to Haille’s Nicaragua e-mail updates

Thank you for your continued support of the journey God’s put me on! If you would like to see pictures, feel free to add me on FaceBook. They upload faster on there. If you feel led to make a donation, there are a few ways you can go about that:

1. Write a check and send to Life Church. Make check out to Life Church, put Haille Krieg in the memo line, and send to 7001 Haggerty Rd, Canton MI 48187

2. Send money electronically through Life Church’s PayPal account. You can find that here: http://www.lifechurchcanton.org/#/about-life/financial-contributions. Make sure you specify that it’s for Haille Krieg.

3. Set up an Elexio account to have an amount taken out of your bank account each month. Log into Elexio Pulse https://lifechurch.elexiopulse.com and click on the “My Giving” link to the far right, you’ll see not only your history in giving, you’ll see a large link in the upper left that says “click here to Give Online”.  If you don’t have an Elexio account you will go to the above link and click on “need an account?” and follow the prompts.

All donations are tax deductible, which is one of the reasons for me going through my church. Life Church does send out donation statements for your tax purposes

November 2012 – November 2013, The year of Candelaria

To all my dear blog readers and lovely supporters, the time has come for me to celebrate my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of living and working in Nicaragua. Specifically in a beautiful little village called Candelaria.

Here is a little summary of some of my most momentous and fantastic life happenings from this unforgettable year:

THIS YEAR I…

  • Hiked up a Volcano and boarded down
  • Got to have my dad come down and visit me.
  • Have seen 3 girls grow in worship ministry and come into a lot of vulnerability and openness to the holy spirit
  • Was proposed to
  • Taught worship leading
  • Saw two of my best friends fall in love
  • Became a godmother
  • Loved even when it wasn’t returned
  • Hoped for the hopeless
  • Prayed over a nation of men who will one day treat their women with the respect they deserve
  • Watch a girl say no to what her human nature and the world said yes to, and choose God’s way instead.
  • Ate the most gourmet thanksgiving dinner I’ve ever had
  • Learned a new language that I can speak fluently conversationally
  • Saw my preschool class get excited about Jesus and doing good
  • Learned the heavenliness of fried cheese, guirila, bunuelos pupusas, enchiladas, repollito, pithaya, and so much more
  • Have discovered that I do not like to cook many things.
  • Learned how to ride my bike through buses, taxis, bikers, people walking, motorcycles, triciclos, without running into anyone…well people anyway. I did run over a dog’s neck once.
  • Fit 11 people in a 5 seater taxi
  • Took an estimated over 100 bus rides
  • Watched a pig get killed
  • Got my first parasites, dengue fever, pneumonia, and weird rashes
  • Walked with a family through their healing journey of finding out their precious 4 year old had a cyst in his leg and the surgery to get it removed.
  • Discovered that motorcycles are my preferred mode of transportation
  • Made it through 10 seasons of Friends in 2 months because of a ridiculous emotional attachment to characters
  • Saw dearly loved staff move on to bigger and better things, even if it just means taking more time to be with their families, and seeing new and fantastic staff come in and be richly blessed by the Lord in their work.
  • Saw a drum line presentation of Gangnam style
  • Saw the trend of shirts for adults with elmo’s face on them come and go
  • Saw a courageous and tremendous woman of prayer fighting with the enemy for her health and WINNING over a parasite in her brain.
  • Have found out that wearing shorts under dresses and skirts is ALWAYS a good idea.
  • Saw the heavens open up and pour rain down like we were having another flood like Noah’s
  • Saw the joy and excitement on a child’s face finding out that they are sponsored to be able to go to school
  • Witnessed my first earthquake
  • Thoroughly enjoyed my first outdoor shower experience
  • Cut a field of grass with a machete
  • Stood on top of a erupting volcano
  • Crossed borders of countries TWO times, by myself. And took public transportation the entire way of all the trips.
  • Ate fish gonads.
  • Wrote 6 new songs.
  • Took a shower in the rain.
  • Ate Gallo Pinto more times than I can count.
  • Befriended an entire street of people
  • Slept in a hammock for about 5 months and counting.
  • Got my first shot in the butt.
  • Became best friends with the owner of a bakery (BEST IDEA EVER).
  • Experienced the overwhelming blessedness of supporters and their beautiful willing spirits.
  • Learned a new instrument by teach myself Ukelele.
  • And finally, saw and experienced more love than can be contained in a an infinite amount of words.